A Passing... Then Some Thoughts....

I wonder why I couldn't just break down and burst into tears like my parents and my sis. Even her friends cried during the funeral. I got a few wet moments in me eyes but that was just it. A bit disappointed with myself being uncle to Ian and all.

Don't get me wrong, I think he is a great kid and will be sorely missed even by me- though I never had the good luck of being with him much, even when I am back home in Penang as he usually goes to his paternal grandparents place in PJ.

It is a real loss that he has to make this passage perilous at such an innocent age, for I thought to myself... is there an actual reason that Fate has decreed such? It may be very well the hand of Fate that called Ian Lim back to the Glass Castle. Perhaps he is among the Watchers now, who knows... My sadness for him stem mainly because he was cut off from the blossom of a life that he seemed promised to have and the physical and mental suffering he had to endure-- sufferings that a minor unschooled in the malicious and mendacious knowledge of adulthood should never have experience.

Above all, I cannot help but think how this is affecting my parents and my aunt, those who also took care of him, invested their time and love in bringing up a star that flared into a sun but quickly turned supernova. For they, along with my sister, were burnt badly and in Ian's absence, a blackhole has welled... an emptiness that they have to live with now.

Isn't Fate cruel then? She is. But kind as well. Perhaps what the other family predicted is true- that Ian is originally a divine being sent to Earth to touch the lives of a luckless few just to brighten up our lives and make things easier as we all pass into our elder days. In that, we become less unfortunate, for now we see the glimmer that he brought to each of our lives.

Perhaps it was time that Fate said "We want him back, to ride with our Fairy Rade- be the succour of our eyes. Time for others living to learn that survival comes with a heartbreak." It is a tough lesson. But lives MUST go on. One must learn to adapt, in body, spirit and soul. And therein lies the mystery in death.